Even if your breakup was pretty explosive, in most cases you will talk to him again. Making sure you don’t blow this second chance is the key.
Of course the first thing many advice columns and self-help experts will tell you is to be sure you want him back. Are you wanting him for the man he is and for who he has truly been in his relationship with you, or is your need a ‘knee jerk’ reaction to just not ‘losing’?
At this point, if you’re reading this though, you don’t care. You just want him back, and maybe you’ve already made the assessment that he is, indeed, the one you still want to go through life with — good and bad, all of it.
So when you two finally get in contact again, be mindful of presenting your best self.
This doesn’t mean putting on airs. Don’t pretend, or manipulate the situation. Just put your most light, positive and kind self forward — and let the hurt, needy, angry, desperate little girl cry safely in private when he’s not there.
At least, that’s what you need to do for now. Eventually you might gently (and without accusation) reveal your hurt, but right now it will make you look weak, needy or manipulative (as if you’re trying to ‘guilt’ him into coming back, which never works to build a healthy relationship.)
Of course you don’t want to become spineless, either. Maintain your core standards. Your man won’t respect you if you ‘cave’ on everything; but you can stand up for yourself with dignity.
Avoid pestering him, texting him repeatedly, showing up and knocking on his door, getting your friends to spy on him… you get the picture. If you want a fresh start and to really get him back you need to be someone YOU would want to date.
Ask yourself if your behavior would work on you if you’d broken up with him. That’s a great way to see things from his side and guide your next moves.
So what’s the answer to “Will my ex ever come back?” Chances are, yes he will — and if you play your cards right you might even get to keep him once he does.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!