Without knowing anything else about your situation my first response is to say no, you shouldn’t contact your ex. Still, there are situations where it’s okay.
Should I contact my ex girlfriend if my breakup was recent?
If it hasn’t been very long since you broke up you’re probably still feeling a lot of pain. That’s normal. Most men would still be in a highly emotional state. At this stage of the game you probably want to talk to your ex girlfriend really bad… want to reason with her… want to explain in detail exactly why you did whatever it was you did that made her break up with you — until she understands your perspective.
It is precisely now — while you’re in this state — that you really need to stay away from her. Now is when contacting her could do the most damage.
The best thing you can do right now is decide on a length of time to go without contacting your ex girlfriend. It should be something like two weeks, at the very least, but two months is even better.
It’s totally understandable if two months seems impossible to achieve right now. That means you have to give yourself shorter deadlines. Get through the first week, and that’ll give you the strength to get through the second one. You can do it.
What if we broke up more than a year ago?
What if you are well past the initial stages of a breakup? What if it already has been months or even years since you last had contact with your ex?
Let’s take the most extreme scenario first. If it’s been a year or more since you last contacted your girlfriend, honestly I think even if she hated your guts when you broke up, it’s okay to contact her now.
So much can change in a year. You have no idea where her head is at, and maybe she doesn’t hate you anymore. Unless you abused her or did something that would generally be considered unforgivable, I can’t think of any reason why it’s not okay to contact your ex girlfriend after more than a year has gone by.
In fact, if you’ve gone more than a year without talking to your ex? An ex you want to get back together with? …I’m impressed. Pat yourself on the back and give her a call.
What if we broke up less than a year ago?
Lastly let’s cover the middle ground. What if it has been two to twelve months since you last contacted your ex girlfriend?
The real question here is, how are you feeling about her? Is she still in your dreams every night? Have you lain in bed alone and cried for the loss of her within the last week?
If that’s true, you’re still too desperate. Don’t contact her. You won’t be in control of what you say, and there’s still a danger you could turn her against you.
And that would be a shame, because you’ve already gone no contact as long as you have. You’d have to start all over again. That would truly suck.
But if YOU feel like it’s been long enough, and you’re stable, you might go ahead and give her a call.
A good indication would be if you’ve dated someone else for a while since your breakup. Or, even if you haven’t had a real relationship since breaking up with her — if you’ve gone out on dates with other women then that tells me you could be ready to contact your ex, with an eye toward getting back together.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!