Should you stay together after the affair?

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You’re probably willing to do anything to save your marriage. You might also have very good reasons to stay together – namely, your children, property or social ties. You also want to choose the healthiest path. How do you decide?

A lot depends on his track record. Some wives stay with serial adulterers all their lives, knowing on some level that there’s little chance of him changing, but always hoping — or because she’s just plain grateful to keep the family together in some form, no matter what.

Maybe your guy only stepped out that one time and is sincerely sorry. Can he prove to your satisfaction that he’s capable of changing, and is he trying?

Studies indicate that, once a couple physically separates, chances of a happy reunion are slim. The growth of each person in the relationship then takes on a decidedly individual path, often creating changes that become a real barrier to reconciliation. If you truly value the marriage, it’s better to stay the course together, seeking therapy or support during the process, but staying under the same roof and sharing the same life circumstances.

This is, of course, especially true when there are children involved. The disruption in their lives when one of their parents moves out will create its own set of challenges for everyone.

Talk it over with your Pastor or therapist, but unless there is actual abuse involved, staying together through the reconciliation process is the better option.

Staying together without outside marital help, though, might be a recipe for failure, so do seek out an objective outside to discuss your options if you want your marriage to survive infidelity. A qualified professional can make the difference between a failed attempt, and a new start together.