If you can't forgive your cheating husband

Picture of portrait of woman in front of striped wall.jpg

When you first find out that your husband has been cheating on you your first emotion will probably be one of betrayal. You have been betrayed by the person that you have given your heart to in marriage. You will also have feelings of jealousy, fear, shame, resentment and anger. These are all natural emotions and should be expected.

One of the other things that you’re going to have to deal with is forgiveness. You may be trying to find a way to find forgiveness so that you can put your life and marriage back in order. If you are unable to forgive, that too is natural.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep that you are afraid to put your trust in your husband again. If you forgive and start trusting your husband you will have to deal with this emotional roller coaster again if there is another affair. You know that this is a pain that you never want to experience again.

You may be feeling like you are stuck in a trap. If you are unable to forgive you won’t be able to put your marriage back together and if you are able to forgive you may be hurt again. It is a vicious cycle that seems to have no end to it. Fortunately, there is a way to work through this.


If you find yourself unable to forgive your cheating husband there is another path that you can take to help rebuild your marriage. This is acceptance. This is the road that you can take to move towards forgiveness.

Forgiving someone is a feeling that should come naturally. You cannot force the feeling that comes when you are ready to forgive someone. It needs to come through a natural process and the first step to getting there is accepting what happened.

When you work towards acceptance you will be working through any feelings of denial. You will be able to accept the fact that the affair happened and that there’s no way to turn back the clock. It also means that you will not be able to go back into the marriage and expect things to be how they once were.

By accepting the affair you will also be better able to deal with your emotions. The feelings you have are natural and need to be handled. You cannot just sweep them away and hope that they remain buried for years to come. You can accept your emotions as well and not have to feel guilt or shame for having them.

Be careful not to get mixed up with the terms acceptance and approval. Just because you accept that the affair happened does not mean that you approve of it at all. It simply means that you accept that it happened so that you can move forward. At that point, you will be able to work with the fear and anger that you are feeling and one day overcome it. You will also be able to release the horrible images you have in your mind of what possibly occurred.

Acceptance allows you to work towards a better day where these feelings are a bad memory but do not affect your day to day life. This will be an ongoing process that you and your husband will need to work on for some time.

If you choose the path of acceptance, forgiveness will come naturally once you are ready. This is the way to rebuild your marriage if you are not yet able to forgive your cheating husband.