One of the hardest things to come to terms with once you find out that your husband has been cheating on you is the trust factor. While you may not think that you can ever trust your husband again, you need to realize that trust can be measured at different levels. It’s important to find out how much you can trust your husband because even a little bit may make a difference.
If you take an example of a marriage where both spouses have been faithful to each other, perhaps for many years, you’ll often find that even then they do not trust each other 100%. Trust is a funny thing and like everything else in life it can be measured. There are very few marriages where both partners can say that there is 100% trust coming from both sides.
The different types of trust
You’ll need to find a foundation from which your relationship can be built again on trust. There are different kinds of trust and you need to analyze all of them so that you can fully understand where you are sitting with your partner. Here are three types that you can use to help rate your level of trust.
1. Financial security
Is your husband trustworthy when it comes to financial issues? Have you been able to open up a joint banking account and know where the money is being spent? If you have not had a problem with finances with your husband then this is a good building block to start with. When you can trust your husband to help keep the material world around you in order this is an enormous trust factor.
2. Physical safety
A lot of women take it for granted that their husband will never hurt them and this is also a major form of trust. If you don’t have to worry about sudden violence and don’t have to live in a world of worry, this is physical trust. If your husband has been cheating on you, yet has never been violent or threatened violence against you, this must also be taken into account.
3. Emotional stability
You want to have enough trust in your husband to be somewhat emotionally stable. Of course, people get angry or depressed at times, but you do not want to have a husband that flies off the handle at the slightest provocation. There should be a trust in place that you can express your opinions on topics without fear of your husband overreacting. This type of trust is especially important when you’re socializing and don’t want to cause a scene.
Once you have looked over these three different types of trust, give each one a rating. Give each factor a number between 1 and 10. Trust does not have to be viewed as an all or nothing kind of thing. There are different kinds of trust and levels for each one. Once you find out exactly how much trust you have in your husband as a measurable amount, you’ll be able to figure out if you have enough to work with to start building up the relationship again.
Trust is also something that can be rebuilt over time. It is natural to lose a lot of trust in your husband once you have found out that he has been cheating on you. It is important to keep in mind, however, that time is a great healing power and it may be possible to regain trust in your husband with some effort from both sides.
Yes... it can. Just like thousands of other couples, you can avoid divorce after an affair by working together through a marriage-healing plan. You follow the right steps... in the right order... and end up with a marriage stronger than it ever was before the infidelity.
Recent studies show divorce doesn't make women happier. And besides that, if you never work through the trust issues caused by the affair you'll later find it impossible to trust the next man you get close to.
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