It is a sad fact that an affair can ruin a relationship, and healing after an affair is difficult. However, it does not have to be that way. While an affair will definitely make you evaluate your relationship with your spouse, it does not have to make you end the relationship. Even though the relationship is strained right now, you can heal it with some effort and some time.
Healing After An Affair — What To Address First
The first thing you have to do to start healing after an affair is open the lines of communication. Most often it is a sad fact that an affair occurs at least in part because a couple is not communicating. When the lines of communication break down, it becomes easier to hide things from each other.
Reopen these lines of communication by being straight forward with your husband. Tell him you know he has had an affair, but that you would like to save your relationship and start the process of healing after an affair. Then, explain that you want to be more communicative with him and go from there. Even if all you talk about is your respective days, you have made progress in healing your relation after an affair.
Once the lines of communication are open and free flowing, you have to address the reason behind the affair. Ask your husband why he cheated on you. If he does not have an answer, he needs to contemplate the question and come up with one. Ask him to be honest with you, in order for healing after an affair to be effective. Once you are both on the same page as to why the affair happened in the first place, you can communicate further to determine what can be done to prevent it from happening again.
Finally, you have to work on rebuilding trust. It is very hard to trust someone while you are still healing after an affair. However, it is very important that you attempt to trust your husband, at least a little bit. You cannot call him at all hours of the work day to check and see where he is.
You should not show up at his place of business to see if he is alone. While it is okay to check up on your husband during this time, it is important that you do not go overboard. You are not with your husband at all hours of the day, so some trust is necessary. As time goes on without incident, trust will grow until you feel you can trust completely in your husband again after healing after an affair is complete.
Getting Your Guy Back — Top Points to Remember
The best way to get your guy back and start healing after an affair is to remind your man why the two of you fell in love with each other in the first place. Think back to your honeymoon months or years and consider what made them special. Try to recreate this feeling.
You should also show affection to your husband even though you are upset and angry. This will prove to him that you care enough to stay with him even though he has made a mistake. Finally, do not throw it in his face every chance you get that he has had an affair. Healing after an affair can only take place if you are willing to forgive and let go.
Healing After an Affair — Top Blunders to Avoid
You should not bring up the affair every time you have an argument. This will only serve to keep the wounds fresh and drive your husband away from you. It will hinder the process of healing after an affair. You should also avoid seeking revenge on your husband, as this will also drive him further away. Seeking revenge on the other woman should also be avoided because you could face legal consequences. In addition, the other woman may have also been misled, and be innocent in the situation.
Yes... it can. Just like thousands of other couples, you can avoid divorce after an affair by working together through a marriage-healing plan. You follow the right steps... in the right order... and end up with a marriage stronger than it ever was before the infidelity.
Recent studies show divorce doesn't make women happier. And besides that, if you never work through the trust issues caused by the affair you'll later find it impossible to trust the next man you get close to.
This site is dedicated to giving you hope. Let us help you and your husband start your marriage over with a clean slate.