If you find yourself in a situation where your husband is addicted to sex, you may not know where to turn. Many women find out by accident that their partner has been secretly watching porn on TV, looking at it on the Internet or stashing magazines on the side. It can be a sudden blow to learn that your husband has had hidden or even devious fantasies that you never knew existed.
How do you deal with a sex-addicted husband? Luckily, there is a way for partners to get past the addiction and lead a healthy normal existence as a married couple. It is possible to get a grasp on these behavior problems and rebuild trust between the two of you again.
Set your boundaries
It is always the best thing to find out about the sex addiction as soon as possible so that you can know what you’re dealing with. Once you are armed with more knowledge you’ll be able to deal with the situation head on and work towards protecting yourself as well.
Anyone that is addicted to sex has it at the top of his list of priorities. Sex will be more important than his marriage, himself and his friendships with others. It is almost like being addicted to a drug and needing a regular fix just to get through the day.
You have to protect yourself by setting up your own set of boundaries. In order to defend his devious lifestyle your husband may ask you to join in and be part of his dangerous lifestyle. He may ask you to join a swingers club or do something similar. This is where you have to step up and let him know your limits.
Under no circumstances should you ever allow this addiction to sex dictate your decisions in the marriage. You will lose everything you value including your own sense of self-worth and integrity.
Don’t fall for the excuses
Once you have discovered that your husband has a problem with sex you can expect to hear all kinds of excuses. The most common one will be that all other men watch porn and it is healthy to do so. Do not fall for this line at all since it is only a justification for his behavior.
It is time for the honesty to be laid out on the table on both ends. You cannot really expect your husband to totally come clean unless you do so yourself. Let your husband know about anything you have done that is dishonest or you have hidden from him, even if you know it will affect your marriage. This is the only way to build his trust enough to let you know what he has done as well.
No more lies
Once the truth has been revealed by both of you, you will have to implement a policy of transparency. There can be no more white lies and no hidden actions. Everything needs to be clarified and accounted for. This is the only way to start building a new relationship that is grounded by trust and pure honesty.
When you look at this sex problem as an addiction and compare it to a drug addiction, you’ll have a better idea of what you are dealing with. It will take some time and effort to work things through, but it can be done. Try spending more time with him doing things that he enjoys to help get his mind off sex and make sure that an honesty policy has been set up that must be strictly adhered to.
Yes... it can. Just like thousands of other couples, you can avoid divorce after an affair by working together through a marriage-healing plan. You follow the right steps... in the right order... and end up with a marriage stronger than it ever was before the infidelity.
Recent studies show divorce doesn't make women happier. And besides that, if you never work through the trust issues caused by the affair you'll later find it impossible to trust the next man you get close to.
This site is dedicated to giving you hope. Let us help you and your husband start your marriage over with a clean slate.