Your world has been shattered and now the one thing you need is what you’ve lost. Can you win back his love again?
First, and this is important, pouting, whining or lashing out is not going to help anyone and will only make your ex wonder why he or she dated you in the first place. So, if you really want him back and want to regain the romance, the first thing you need is to gently open the paths of communication again.
That core of love is probably still there and can be rekindled.
It hurts like hell. I know because I’ve been there. Every moment that passes feels like your own life is draining away. It’s very hard when you need someone back in your life so desperately to be able to back off and try and see things objectively.
Most likely it isn’t really over. Maybe he’s just licking his wounds or you two need to straighten out a misunderstanding.
Are you still the person your ex first fell in love with? Of course you are. Why did you break up? Got a bit possessive or needy? Maybe you had a fight or you said something you regret. The reality is that most things are not irreparable.
Perhaps you were pushing too hard for a commitment. No matter what the books may tell you, giving an ultimatum or stating that you’re ready for a commitment isn’t the way to get what you want in a relationship.
Reach out subtly. Keep up your appearance and positive outlook, but don’t make it look like you’re trying. You don’t want to be ‘heavy’ or cloying. Don’t stalk your ex on FaceBook, call or text obsessively. Work on yourself and your own life (with or without your ex). Keep your energy light and light-hearted. Be playful and a little bit flirtatious without coming on too strong and — whatever you do — don’t lose your dignity.
When your ex senses that you’re happy and leading a full life he or she will be intrigued. When other people begin gravitating to you because you’re sending out good energy, your ex will want to see more of you, too.
Mainly try to leave a door open to allow him or her to come back on his own. That doesn’t mean ignoring your ex (the no-contact rule can backfire). In fact I’ve saved a relationship by gently and nicely calling (not too much) until I got through then nicely asking for a casual lunch date.
Once again remember, no heavy stuff. What that means is to keep your contacts free of pulling, need and demand. You want your ex to feel good about being with you again. You don’t need to buy love (that is never a solution) or be overly attentive (an ex can take advantage of this while actually thinking less of you.)
Be the best you can be, and by leaving the door open for your ex to decide to come back, you just might rebuild your relationship stronger and more committed than it was before.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!