It seems like everything I read on the internet about how to get back with a girl who broke up with you is all one and the same. It makes me feel like I should come up with a new technique, so I’m going to take a stab at that.
Here is what I came up with. I’m laying it out as a 3 step process.
Your best chance for getting her back starts with believing in yourself, and your ability to win her back. After all, you got her to go out with you a first time. Why shouldn’t you be able to do it again?
Keep reminding yourself of these key facts:
— When two people break up, it is hard on both of them, not just on the one who got dumped.
— She is feeling just as stressed as you are. Even if she doesn’t feel your desperation, she feels stress because her life has been altered in an important way.
— She misses you. You are absent from her life, and she feels the empty space where you used to be.
— She is consumed with thoughts of what went wrong, just as you are. Ending your failed relationship makes her feel like a failure.
See? It’s not just you. Accept that both of you hold equal responsibility for what happened, and look at it this way: if she decided to be the one responsible for breaking it off, then you’ll just have to be the one responsible for putting it back together again.
Make a real, written list. Actually write all the reasons down on paper. Maybe it sounds like a waste of time, but if you want to figure out how to get back with a girl who broke up with you, you have to do your homework.
Next, decide how you’re going to address each reason. For each item on the list, think of an example of how your words or actions contributed to that reason. Also write down what you are going to do differently in the future, if the same situation comes up.
If it helps, pretend you are writing to your future self — the guy who is going to benefit from all this insight. You’ll be keeping these pages for a long time, and referring back to them to remind yourself that your behavior has consequences.
Expect this period of introspection to last at least a week. Use the exercise to distract yourself from your compulsion to keep contacting your ex.
In fact, you need to endure at least two weeks of no contact with your ex. Allow that much time to pass before you move on to the next step.
This needs to be a handwritten letter, in a hand-addressed envelope, sent snail-mail.
Tell her the time apart has been good for you. Tell her you’ve been thinking hard about all the mistakes you made, and about what you’d do differently if you could do it all over again — only don’t actually list the mistakes.
Don’t dwell on the details. Keep it vague. You want her to be curious.
Throw in some touches of humor: Say something like, “If you can believe it, I actually wrote down a list!”
Be serious, too: Say, “It makes me wish I could try again with you.”
And, “I’m a better man for for having gone through this, even though it hurt. I’ll be a better friend to the next woman I date.”
That’s it. These are my steps for how to get back with a girl who broke up with you. I believe that following these steps gives you a good chance at getting her back.
— Are you trying to get back with a girl? Are you having a hard time? How do you even know if you have a chance?
We have collected a pretty good list of 18 signs your ex wants you back.
Read them FREE here: 18 Signs.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!