Are you through with NC? Have you managed to stay NC for a few months since your breakup? If you have, congratulations! After all this time no contact, it’s time to get your ex back.
No Contact really works to get your ex back, but maintaining NC is no easy feat. Be proud of your accomplishment, because this is one of the great achievements in your life so far.
Now, you can make a plan to get your ex back after no contact.
NC means No Contact. It is an abbreviation frequently seen on relationship forums (such as enotalone), where people talk about breaking up.
As a philosophy, the No Contact Rule supposes that the best way to heal from the pain after a breakup is to avoid all contact with your ex. This means:
Following the No Contact Rule is the fastest way to move through the misery you feel after the end of a relationship. Even though the NC period will last for months, without it, you could be depressed for much longer than that.
First, understand that this plan won’t work unless you started no contact at least three months ago, and have honestly avoided contact during that time.
How do you know you have been successful? If you have been no contact long enough, you should not be crying every day because you miss your ex. In fact, entire days should go by where you don’t even think about your ex.
And you should believe that if you fail to get your ex back, you’ll still be okay.
Forward an email to your ex, just as you would to any other friend. This should be the kind of email that has a link to a cool video or website.
In this email, do not say anything about the two of you, or even yourself. Completely avoid the words “I” and “me.” Just say something brief to introduce the link.
Wrong: “I saw this and thought of you.”
Wrong: “Check this out. How have you been?”
Right: “Have you seen this? Hilarious!”
As an alternative (or addition) to emailing a link, send your ex a birthday or holiday card if the timing is right.
Don’t stretch too far; if you’re going for a holiday it needs to be a major one like Christmas, where cards are a matter of course. Don’t send a card for Labor Day.
If your ex is a parent of your children, you can send a Mother’s Day or Father’s Day card.
Avoid sending a Valentine’s card in February. You are trying to communicate friendship here, not romance. You are using a card to say, “I’m past the pain, and now I just have fond memories of you.”
Find a friend to be your ally. You want this to be someone who is in a position to mention you to your ex.
Presumably, since you’ve been no contact, you haven’t talked to this person about your ex in a while. Now is the time to ask what your ex has been up to, and how he or she is doing.
Say something complimentary (and true). For example: “She was a really good poker player. How’s she doing? Tell her I said hi.”
That’s all for now. Wait until the next time you see this mutual friend, even if you get good feedback immediately. Next time, mention that you wouldn’t mind seeing your ex again.
What you’re looking for here is permission to call, and to ask to get together. The feedback you get from your friend needs to be positive, so you know that if you make contact, you’ll be well received.
If there is any chance you’ll be able to get your ex back after no contact, you’ll know it after executing these steps.
Once you are back in contact, you don’t want to screw things up. That’s why you’ll need the best system available for persuading your ex to get back together with you.
Getting it right is crucial. With the right techniques, you can get your ex back AND develop a stronger relationship this second time around.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!