It can feel a little disorienting… you’re hanging out with your friends, kicking back, maybe having a beer… and in the course of joking around, your girl comes up. And even though you don’t really mean anything by it, she overhears it, and it becomes a big deal. You’ve hurt your girlfriend’s feelings.
Note: If she already dumped you (so really, she’s like an “ex-girlfriend”), you might want to use this Apology Letter to Girlfriend instead.
If you’re in this situation, you need to address it in a real, conclusive way so that it doesn’t turn into resentment down the line. That means talking it out, but in order to do that, you need to initiate the conversation. And the quickest way to start a successful conversation is to write an apology that explains what’s been done, and why you’ll change things in the future. Whenever you make a heartfelt apology, you’ve got to show empathy. That means putting serious thought into the reasons why she feels bad. Stay away from generalities like “I was stupid” or “it just happened”.
We’ve included a sample letter of apology for hurt feelings to get you started.
All of us went to the bar last Sunday, and without really thinking about it, I spent the entire afternoon making fun of you.
I guess I was trying to impress your Dad — he’s a really boisterous guy, and he makes jokes about everybody he comes across. And in trying to bond with him, I really embarrassed you.
I was totally inconsiderate. You didn’t want to go to the bar in the first place, and it was just me, your Dad, and “the guys” — you were out there all alone socially, and I should have been the one backing you up, not making things worse. When I tell jokes, I do it to make people relax and lighten the mood. When I made fun of your nose and the stuff you buy at the mall and your movie collection, none of that helped you — the most important person in the room — feel relaxed or secure.
If you’re willing to take me at my word that this stuff will never happen again, I’d love to get back together with you and spend some time together, just the two of us. Otherwise, let’s talk about what we can do specifically to prevent it.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!