When you’re apologizing to your girlfriend for something you did while hammered on a Friday night, have you ever said something like this?
*I couldn’t help it baby, I was totally out of control!*
Note: If she already dumped you (so really, she’s like an “ex-girlfriend”), you might want to use this Apology Letter to Girlfriend instead.
Whether you think it or not, this kind of logic deepens hostilities and starts the kind of fights that end relationships. You might have been blacked out drunk when all the crazy stuff happened, but it’s not fair for your girlfriend when you vacate your responsibilities to respect each other in public and behave like an adult. So as you work to apologize for what you’ve done and get on the same page, remember that you’re going to:
Apologize — without excuses or equivocation.
For — there was an internal reason you did what you did.
What — something of consequence happened. It wasn’t “something” or “you know”.
You’ve Done — remember, you’re the person responsible for what happened, nobody else.
One of the hurdles in making this sort of apology is that usually, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. If you repeatedly made this same mistake in your relationship, you need to work really hard to show that this time is different. That means being very specific about what happened and the harm it caused. Here’s a sample apology letter to a girlfriend for being drunk.
Dear Kendra —
You spent all week telling me not to drink at the party, and I did it anyway.
What I did was absolutely wrong in any light, because at best, I was ignoring your advice and engaging in destructive behavior. What’s worse is that I didn’t stop at one drink… or two… or three. I shouted, I cursed at you and your mother, I pushed my brother into the pantry when he tried to step in and get me out of the house, and I made an idiot of myself.
You and I have been together for three years, and there are times I still don’t understand that what I say and do reflects on you for choosing to be with me. The shame you felt when I ignored you when you tried to stop me from having the first beer, the embarrassment you felt when you had to clean up after me, the arguments where you had to tell your parents reasons why you put up with me… all of it’s my fault, and even though I’ve told you time and time again that I’m going to fix it… I still haven’t managed it.
I don’t want to be that guy. I don’t want to feel like I have to humiliate both of us in order to have a good time… and I don’t want to have so little willpower that I drink even when I know the consequences.
All I can do is take control out of my hands and put them into yours. I won’t go to any parties where there’s alcohol in the room, and I won’t keep any beer in the house when people come over. If we’ve got to lock it down, so be it. If we’ve got to keep a dry house, so be it. And we’ll do it until you feel like I’m ready to take on that responsibility again.
Please give me a chance to make this right and restore sanity to our home.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!