Yes, communication is an art and is a vital part of a healthy relationship. I am not an expert in this field or any sort of psychologist but I will share with you some things that I have learned during my years of life that have made me the man I am today.
Communication is so vital to a good solid relationship it is the key fundamental ingredient to a healthy life long relationship. Communication can resolve many conflicts before they are to happen, and good ole open communication if done would have prevented many disagreements from materializing. When it comes to communication there are several dos and don’ts to take into consideration. We will discuss some of these in this article. Like I said I am nowhere near and expert or doctor in this area. But after many years of getting things wrong in this area I have a good understanding now of what to do right. I am here to help other people especially men to avoid some of the things that I did wrong and hopefully save a relationship or two along the way.
When it comes to effective communication often times it is viewed that we are only talking about during an argument. Good communication starts way before an argument takes place. Good communication is the key and road map to prevent many arguments and if the relationship had good communication from the beginning maybe the arguments between to the two would never have came into play.
One thing that society has told us is, men are thought to be bad communicators and don’t like to share their personal side. I do have to say that I do feel like this statement is somewhat true, but not all men are made alike, so I don’t think it is a good idea to prejudge all men to be equal. Some men do tend to hate to show their emotions to any one and they tend to bury their feelings deep inside. This is dangerous because in time those buried feelings tend to blow up like a powder keg, and when this happens the people closest to him tend to get hurt either emotionally or physically or sometimes both. Another statement that I disagree with is, that men are considered feminine or gay if they show their emotional side. Another stereotypical expression that men here from the opposite sex, all this does is it makes men to not too open up and share their feelings. What man wants to be portrayed a gay or feminine. Men are suppose to be strong, tough and a macho. Men are not supposed to be weak or emotional. So men are caught on this two edged sword, first they are suppose to open up and talk and share and show an emotional side, but then on the other hand men are suppose to be tough, rugged and highly secure in themselves. What are we to do?
Men, first we need to stop listening to society and listen to our hearts and to what our soul mate needs. Society does not care about you or your relationship; if they did then there would not be so many broken relationships in the world. Men we need to stop being so tough and rugged and start opening up to our partners and share with them our needs and find out what their needs are also especially if we want a successful relationship with them.
Now let’s take some time and think back about the last time you two had an argument between the two of you. I am sure it was it ugly and the both of you had some serious hurt feelings? Did it leave you scared inside? Are you holding a grudge about things that were said? Do you want more of these fights down the road in your relationship or would you like to learn a simple technique to help prevent arguments from possibly happening? I hope for your relationship it is not too late to turn things around and put this technique we call communication to work.
For many men this mean, getting out of your comfort zone and start opening up to your partner. Would it not be easier and more rewarding to start opening up and talking to your wife or partner then to be arguing with them or walking on egg shells around them trying to prevent an argument? To learn how to communicate can be done in baby steps. First let me ask you, where do you all have dinner in your home, is it in front of the television? Usually families that have communication problems either don’t eat together or they eat dinner in front of the television. The television is usually used as a tool to avoid talking. Men why don’t you surprise your partner and ask her, why don’t we leave the television off tonight so we can talk. Now when you do this make sure you have a heart defibrillator on hand because I am sure that she is going to drop over from a heart attack when you ask her to let’s have a conversation instead of watching television. Okay now this is the first step, now I am sure you are shaking in your boots too the question of what do we talk about? Here are a few suggestions:
Share with her what went on today at work, then ask her how her day was.
By all means stay away from any conversation about money at this point.
Ask her how the kids did in school.
Ask about how her family is doing.
If she made dinner compliment her on her cooking.
Ask her if there is anything she would like to share.
What you are trying to do through this is show her that you care about her and also show her that you are open to conversation to having a decent conversation. Many men don’t show their partner that they care, in your heart I am sure that you do care about her and the family, but we tend to come across as showing that we don’t care because of our hard tough exterior. We need to knock down the wall that is blocking us from communication and show our spouse that we do care and want to make things work. The best way again is to show her that we can talk and express our emotions.
Another good time for open communication is when the two of you go to bed. This is a perfect time to talk, the kids are in bed, the house is quiet, and if the conversation is on the right tract it may even turn romantic. I have found that women love to talk after they are in bed for some reason. I am not sure if it is because they are in a comfort zone, or what but I do know this can be the ideal time for breaking the ice and opening up. With this knowledge if I was reading this I would take the opportunity to night and roll toward your partner and say; honey let’s talk. These three words can pry cold hearted women into melting inside. Again she is not going to know what to say or how to react since more than likely she has never heard you say that before.
Okay men I know what you are going to say, it is time for sleep and forget about talking, right? Well you need to be a little flexible with me here and give it a try. You may be surprised at how this works, one key point is, DO NOT FALL ASLEEP during the conversation. I have been guilty of this and trust me the wrath of God will fall on your head if you fall asleep. So make sure you are not in a comfortable position because if you are you will fall fast asleep. Again leave the television off and ask these same simple questions to get the ball rolling. It is not rocket science, but these little questions are good conversation openers.
A major key point here before moving on is, make sure that you are paying attention during any and all conversation. If you are not paying attention she will pick up on this right away and it will either kill everything that you are trying so hard to get started or you will have world war three on your hands. Trust me I have been there.
Communication between two people in a relationship is so important. I would rank communication as being the number one importance to any relationship. A good relationship takes hard work, and I am sure everyone will agree communication is very hard work. If you were to poll couples that have been together for twenty plus years and ask them what is the key to their relationship staying together for so long I am sure that the majority of them will say good communication.
Communication is all around us, we use it on a daily basis in our work and in our play. We communicate with our friends and family, our co-workers and our enemies. We should consider our relationship with our partner as being the closest best friend in the world. This partner is our soul mate; we are supposed to be there through thick and thin for the other person. Many of us would give our life for our partner. So why don’t we want to communicate with them.
There are thousands of books on communication in a relationship. There are thousands of counselors making tons of money on communication in a relationship. There are seminar speakers giving talks all around the world about communication in the home. This is not a new subject and it should not be tossed out the door with the bath water. It should be the number one tool we need to invest in to make our relationship with our partner last forever. We all want to have the happiest and best life possible, right? We need to make this simple but hard tool called communication a most important fundamental part of our relationship serious and put it to work today.
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My name is Tom, I am a writer and a blogger. I love to do research and express my feelings in my writings. I also love to do research in order to help others that may be struggling with the same things that I am.
Please check out my blogs and maybe I can help you one day.
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Article Source: The Art of Communication in a Relationship