Is it too late to get your ex boyfriend back?
Much as you want him back, there may be signs that make it apparent that it's not really going to happen, or shouldn't happen.
Has he moved away from you in a significant way? This means more than just moving out of the home you shared. Has he moved to a new town? Has he initiated a career change, or some major lifestyle change -- for example, adopting a new religion? If he's done any of these things, he's likely put you behind him, and is trying to make a fresh start. The fact that he's made such drastic changes means he's likely to succeed.
If he is with someone else, and he's been with her for two months or more, it's probably too late for him to come back to you, because he's already made a commitment to someone else. Or if he's with someone he knew before he left you, that makes it much less likely that he'll come back to you. In fact, there's a chance that he was attracted to her while he was with you. He might even have been seeing her behind your back.
If he has outright told you there's no way he'll come back to you -- you've asked him, and he's said no -- well, he's probably right.
If he's asked you to stop calling him, emailing him, texting him -- especially if he's gone so far as to change his phone number so that you can't call any more -- it's probably too late.
If whenever you do see him, you argue, and go back to fighting like you did when you were together, that's a sign that even if you got back together, you wouldn't be happy because neither of you has changed. Arguing hurts him as much as it hurts you, and he knows this. If he ends up in an argumentative state whenever he's with you, he's not going to want to come back to your painful relationship.
If you discovered, while you were with him, that you weren't sexually compatible? He loves blow jobs and you hate giving them; he likes positions that don't turn you on; he wants back door and you just think it hurts. It's probably too late to think that you could ever have a working relationship. It's hard for people to change their sexual desires. No matter how made for each other you are in other ways, if you can't meet his sexual needs, he won't come back. He's a guy, so sex might be more important to him than it is to you.
If it's been a while since you've been together, and the old hurts from your past relationship are just as painful as ever. If you haven't recovered or moved on, but are still reliving all the pain, you won't be able to get back together because every time you see him you'll be trapped in the same headspace that caused you to separate in the first place.
If you discovered while you were together that you have different values and desires -- one of you wants children and the other doesn't; you have different definitions of monogamy; you have incompatible religious beliefs that you each feel strongly about. If you have different activity levels: one of you is fairly sedentary and likes to sit in front of the computer or television, and the other likes to participate in sports, go running, be active in spare time. If you have widely different views on how to manage money -- like he spends, you save, or vice versa. If you have widely different political views: he's liberal, you're conservative. Widely differing values and desires make it less likely that you'll be able to maintain a relationship.
If he's cheated on you multiple times, it's too late. And hell, you don't want him anyway because he's going to cheat again. If you've cheated more than once, then you can assume you've hurt him deeply.
If he's left you, and when you're honest with yourself, you admit that emotionally he left you a long time ago, then even though your breakup just happened from your perspective, from his perspective he's already well on his way to getting on with his life. He's not very likely to come back to you.
If he's spending time away from your home and family. If he seems to have separated himself from your children, your home life, your household responsibilities of taking care of your home, family obligations to relatives and neighbors -- he probably associates all of those things with you. The fact that he stays away from those things makes it all the more likely that he's going to continue staying away from you.
If two or more of the situations described in this list are true for you, it's probably too late for you to get him back. It's hard to hear, but it's time for you to pick yourself up, and move on with your life.
Get back with your ex!
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