Common mistakes when trying to get an ex back
If you've asked anyone else in your life for advice about your situation, such as a family member or friend, you may have heard things like this before...
"Tell your ex you can't live without them"
"Tell your ex you will do anything to be with them"
"Send your ex flowers/chocolate/insert present here every day for a week"
"Ask your ex what it will take for them to take you back"
And so on.
Tell me, what do all these things have in common?
I'll tell you, they're all basically forms of begging.
Yes, you read that right, begging. I mean, if you were to go to your ex and say something like, "I'll do anything if you take me back", you would essentially be begging them to get back together with you.
I don't know about you but begging is not the sort of thing I look for in a partner.
What exactly is supposed to be attractive about this?
I mean, this is the sort of thing I've seen before, people dishing out "advice" like this, however, do they actually know if it works or not?
Do you know where most of this stuff comes from?
Movies, yes, movies. In romantic movies, you'll often watch things like this, either the man or the woman does something "romantic", confesses their love and tells them they can't live without them or something similar to that.
Well, this is not the movies, this is real life and I'll tell you now that I've never seen anything like that happen in real life.
Sure, in the movies, they get back together and live happily ever after but, again, this is not the movies.
This may be the idealistic version of events, however, it's not the realistic version of events.
The point I'm trying to make here is that things you've heard, read or watched may not work for you. Other people may tell you that they'll work but do they really know?
My guess would be that the huge majority of people who give out advice to their friends and family about getting an ex back probably have very little experience.
You need to be careful about the advice you take and act upon.
A lot of the so called "advice" given out in situations like this is horrible, in my opinion and I don't want people to make silly mistakes based on bad advice.
What Attracted Them In The First Place?
This is something you really should take some time to think about as it could hold the answer you're looking for.
The simple fact of the matter is, your ex is probably still attracted to you in some ways, I mean, it's not as though people can just turn on and off their emotions and feelings, so although the relationship has ended, they are probably still attracted to you in some way.
Take some time and try to think about what it was that attracted your ex to you in the first place, for example, maybe they liked your sense of humour, maybe they thought you were absolutely beautiful, maybe they liked your caring nature, whatever it is about you that attracted them, you need to think about it.
The purpose of this is very simple, if you know what they found attractive about you before, then you may be able to use it to attract them again.
Let me give you an example to explain this a little better, let's say that a man is attracted to a woman because of their physical beauty and their sense of humour, now let's say they date for a while but then suddenly break up, even though the relationship has ended, the woman's beauty and sense of humour has not disappeared, it's still there and it's likely the man still finds it attractive.
Do you see what I mean?
Just because you and your ex are not in a relationship anymore, it does not mean that they are not attracted to you in some ways, it does not mean that they don't like what they once did like.
So, spend some time and think about what it is about you that attracted your ex to you in the first place, it's quite likely that they mentioned some of the things while you were together or even if they did not directly say anything, it can still be quite obvious, for example, if they laughed a lot when they were with you, it probably means they liked your sense of humour and had fun being around you.
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