Before you think about getting back together with someone, you need to think about whether it’s really worthwhile. You need to do some honest soul-searching. Were you really happy when you were together? If you get back together, will you truly be happy?
It’s all too easy, when you’re hurting, to think of just the good times you had, and to fail to remember the bad times. But probably, if you and your ex are no longer together, there were good times AND bad times, and you really need to consider which outweighed the others.
Think about it right now, and then think about it again later when you’re in a different headspace. Think about it multiple times, several days apart, and take notes — so that later you can review your thoughts at a glance and accurately assess whether you were happy with your ex, or not.
The truth is, a lot of relationships actually aren’t worth saving. Maybe you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did having fun. If that’s the case, maybe you really do need to move on. Certainly, if your ex was verbally or physically abusive, then it really wasn’t a healthy relationship, was it? If you were with someone who was mentally unstable, aren’t you truly better off without them?
But if none of this was true, and overall, the relationship was a good one — if you weren’t with someone who was abusive, and were lucky enough to have a partner who was of sound mind — consider these things to help you and your ex get back together:
First, it’s not a good idea to push or pester your ex. If you’re constantly trying to get in touch with your ex, with constant text messages or emails or phone calls — or hell, driving by their house and stalking them when they go places — you’re definitely going to do more harm than good. They’re going to think you’re desperate, and more than likely this is going to push them further away from you, rather than bring them closer.
Second, when you do talk to your ex, don’t spend a lot of time talking about your past relationship. Don’t re-hash old arguments. Don’t beg, don’t plead — like you do in your head when you’re by yourself and you’re re-living it all in your own mind. Because you can’t trust your own thoughts, when you’re emotional. You’re probably beating yourself up over all the things you did wrong, that were the reason why your ex broke up with you. You spend a lot of time thinking, “If only….” If only you’d never done those things. But the past is the past, and the present is the present, and you need to focus on the present.
So there’s no time machine here. There’s no way to go back in time, even if you wish you could. Just focus on yourself now. Make sure your ex stays aware of you, but back off and spend some time living your own life, and concentrating on your own self. This will help you more than anything else will. And as your ex becomes aware of these changes in you, they might think about you and miss you. You’ll become someone more desirable to your ex. And you’ll only be helping yourself, because you’ll be living a happier, mentally healthier, life too.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!