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Dumper vs. Dumpee - Both are affected by a breakup

 

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Whether as 'dumper' or 'dumpee', who do you know who has never suffered through a relationship breakup? To be sure, there must be some people for whom this is true. Think about people who marry their childhood sweetheart -- their first boyfriend or girlfriend ever. These folks, assuming they're still together, have never dealt with the heartache. But for most of us mere mortals, breakups are just something we have to deal with.

The severity of a breakup, despair-wise, depends on factors such as how long the relationship lasted, and how emotionally intense it was. In other words, the devastation effect that a breakup has on your life is linked to the level of commitment that had developed during your time together.

Breakups usually happen because of conflict within the relationship, or because one of the partners becomes bored. One partner reaches their tolerance limit and decides to walk away. Maybe they have a new partner in mind already, or maybe they even decide they'd rather be alone than be with their current partner.

And usually, it is the other partner -- the 'dumpee' -- who takes longer to accept that the relationship has ended. Often this is the partner who has suffered the most abandonment in the past.

However it is not always the case that the dumpee suffers more than the dumper. Ending a relationship is stressful for both parties, and it is very likely that both people are suffering, though they may each recover from the breakup at their own speed, and be suffering for different reasons. As you make your way through the aftermath of your own breakup, never forget that both of you are experiencing a sense of loss. Even if you are not the one who triggered the breakup, you should understand that your ex is feeling some pain.

If you 'got dumped,' and it is your hope to someday get back together with your ex, it is critical that you let the post-breakup period play out in a civilized and compassionate manner. Although you are in pain, make an effort and show that the love you felt for your partner was real. After all, if you felt true love, you will want to show respect and appreciate your partner's feelings even now. And remember, the lessons you learn from this experience are ones you will never lose.

Click here to learn exactly how to make your ex want you back.

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