Hmm. So you’ve had that moment, the moment that every ex-girlfriend fears most – you just bumped into your ex-boyfriend walking around with his new girlfriend.
Once you got over the weak feeling in your knees and the butterflies in your stomach you did the obvious thing and started analysing her. And now you’re wondering did your ex-boyfriend upgrade or downgrade from you?
This is a perfectly natural thing to have going through your head because even though you’re no longer with your ex-boyfriend you still wind up measuring yourself against his current girlfriend. How does she compare to you? Is she prettier than you? Does she have a better personality than you?
This is just basic human nature coming to the surface and it’s something that’s buried deep in your subconcious – something quite primitive. Humans are very emotional creatures at heart and when we see that we’ve been “replaced” by somebody else it makes us evaluate our own worth in the grand scheme of things.
The fact that your ex-boyfriend broke up with you doesn’t really mean much more than a small life change has happened. Men are all too often led by the “grass is greener syndrome” (GIGS) when it comes to women. So even though they may be perfectly happy with you and your relationship, somebody else catches their eye and away they go.
Then you have the situation where some girls only ever chase after guys who already have girlfriends. Why? Because it’s a sign that the guy is doing something right and that he can offer her the same security. So these are important factors to look at when it comes to the Ex Upgrade Vs Ex Downgrade situation.
If you have the feeling that your ex has upgraded from you then this probably touches on your own self-worth a little bit. Don’t get me wrong – it’s hard not to have your self-worth dented by the end of a relationship. Especially if you’re the one at the receiving end of “it’s over”. Without knowing the exact personal psychology of your ex boyfiend you can really only guess why he’s decided to date somebody else.
If you’re feeling that your ex boyfriend has downgraded from you then this might suggest a few things to you; the main one of these is that your ex boyfriend is currently in a rebound relationship just because he doesn’t want to be alone. He basically started dating the first girl who came along – regardless of her looks, what they had in common or even her personality.
So is the upgrade or downgrade situation better for you?
Honestly it’s about how you feel about the breakup yourself. The only way that your ex-boyfriends new partner can reflect badly on you is if you allow it to. For example if you show him that you’re jealous or pull out the possessive ex-girlfriend routine that’s not going to paint you in a very good light is it?
I suppose the key thing to remember here is that humans are complicated creatures and human relationships are doubly complicated because of this. What motivates us to break up with one person and date another isn’t something that can always be expressed in words.
Sometimes (actually a lot of the time) it’s an emotional hijack situation where your heart is doing things while your mind is going “Wait… let’s just think about this for a second first”. But the problem is that once an emotional hijack happens it’s almost impossible to stop it.
Honestly I’d concern yourself less about whether or not your boyfriend upgraded or downgraded and focus more on how you feel about yourself in relations to yourself. Not anyone else. Once you truly value yourself you’ll shine like a beacon to all the good guys out there waiting to meet you.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!