Before you put pen to paper to write anything — whether it’s a contract, a promise, or an apology — it’s vitally important that you mean every word of what you say.
Note: If she already dumped you (so really, she’s like an “ex-girlfriend”), you might want to use this Apology Letter to Girlfriend instead.
So before you apologize for your paranoia and lack of trust in your relationship, ask yourself if you seriously feel justified in the way you’ve been acting lately. If so, then either you’re being stubborn, or there’s a real issue going on that shouldn’t be ignored. Either way, you shouldn’t apologize to patch a hole in a relationship or as a way to “let her win”.
If you’re angry at yourself, and desperate to fix something broken in your relationship with your girlfriend, then have a seat — that’s the time to write an apology.
Now in some cases, how the offender feels about the situation isn’t as important as what they’re going to do to fix it (like infidelity or spousal abuse), but when jealousy and suspicion strike a relationship, the innocent party might feel confused — why something they normally love seems to go crazy at the drop of a hat.
It makes them feel bad too… like they somehow don’t deserve to be treated with respect.
You need to adopt the mentality of a third grader, and keep asking yourself “why” over and over until you get to a real answer that isn’t just petulant grumbling. If it’s something you keep doing, you need to learn how to stop. If it’s something that happened to you that you can’t get over, the two of you need to learn how to put the past behind you.
Here’s a sample letter to apologize for not trusting a girlfriend.
You found the bill from the private investigator last week.
I’ve been paying someone to follow you around after work for the last three weeks. You know I started my new job last month… with all the changes in my life, I’ve been thinking about you more and more. As much as I’m embarrassed to say it, these thoughts haven’t helped bring us together.
I wasted a lot of our money, and more importantly, I ruined the trust and respect that we promised to give each other. With the one person in the whole world that’s always had my back and had faith in me.
I feel like a moron.
A lot of it’s my upbringing. My dad went through a messy divorce when I was a kid, and a lot of the stuff he said echoes in my head during times that it shouldn’t. And if you remember, Bethany cheated on me right before I met you, so my insecurity comes to the forefront sometimes even though you’ve proven how much you love me, over and over again.
I want to change more than anything, and I know I won’t be able to do it unless you help me one more time.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life making excuses for being jealous. And the feeling I get whenever I see you talking to another guy… I don’t want to pass that to the children we have someday. And I know you feel the same way.
Instead of spending my money on paid snoops, I should have been spending it on therapy. I’ve been nervous about it every time you brought it up — I’m still nervous — but I know what I’ve been doing isn’t healthy and I need to do something different.
I want to meet in person tomorrow, and I’d be very willing to talk about where we can go for help.
If these words aren’t coupled with some concrete actions, she’s going to think you’re “saying the right things” but not delivering on anything she can be sure about. A “just words” approach might make you feel good, but it’s not going to restore your relationship back to its original condition.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!