If you’re reading this and looking for an easy solution to the problem: I’m sorry. Cheating isn’t just a bad thing when it comes to relationships, it’s the worst thing. Infidelity is like a poison in relationships, and it attacks the trust that’s a lifeblood to a stable and gratifying relationship. You can apologize, but make sure that’s it’s done because you want to, and without any expectations.
Note: If she already dumped you (so really, she’s like an “ex-girlfriend”), you might want to use this Apology Letter to Girlfriend instead.
If you still think there’s a good reason for what you did, or you’ve got something you need to convince her of… don’t write a letter, and don’t try to contact her.
Your apology can be as long or as short as you want it to be. But it needs to address what happened without avoiding facts that make you uncomfortable, it need to explain what happened in the relationship without making excuses for your behavior. Be brief, and be very clear about what you’re going to do to fix things. Don’t spend a bunch of time talking about how you feel — odds are she isn’t thinking about your emotions right now.
Here’s a sample apology letter for cheating. Your letter can be a little longer than this, but don’t write pages of details. Just get to the point.
I cheated on you twice during our trip to Austin.
Both times were on Saturday night — we’d both had too much to drink, and when you went to sleep in the hotel room, I headed out looking to “make the most of things” — I didn’t go out looking to cheat, but I had sex with a couple of different women during the night and dozed off, which was why you didn’t see me until the afternoon.
It didn’t have anything to do with the arguments we’ve been having lately — I felt so excited and free during the vacation that I just… started acting like a kid, like I didn’t have any real responsibilities.
I felt dirty and embarrassed when it happened, and I feel even worse now. And when you asked me about what I did a week later, I lied about it even more. Why? I was too busy thinking about how embarrassed I felt that I didn’t take a moment to think about how you felt, confused about our relationship… and looking for some of the honesty that’s clearly missing from our relationship.
I love you. And I know that I need to prove it all over again, and maybe I never will. But I’ve met with my minister and I’ve told my friends and family the truth about what happened. I don’t want to hide — I want to fix things.
Which is fine. Me feeling bad about something I did isn’t as bad as you feeling bad for something you didn’t do and don’t deserve to have happen to you.
If you’re angry at me, or frustrated, or heartbroken — I understand all of it.
If there’s anything I should do to start fixing the hurt I’ve caused, please tell me, and I’ll do whatever it takes.
I’m sorry for my selfishness. And I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.
Remember to be patient, and work on fixing your own attitude. When a person cheats, it means (among other things) that they didn’t understand self-control and self-denial.
So start fixing that — develop the courage to accept responsibility without hiding behind a shield of “yes, buts”, listen when people give their opinions (especially the person you cheated on), and accept that they’re probably in better shape to understand what’s going on in the relationship than you.
We are dedicated to helping you do just that. Whether you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, or get your boyfriend back — we have the best, no-nonsense advice to help you plan your attack. Let us help you get your lover back!